Close your eyes and imagine this: A young girl is sitting on her couch, hanging over the edge on her tummy. She remains still, but her eyes are filled with excitement as she stares out the window. No one knows that she's been doing this for the past few weeks, waiting for the mail. Then one day, she sees what she's been waiting for. It takes a full five seconds for the mailman to walk up the steps, and another 3 for him to drop the envelope in the mail. As soon as he turns and his foot touches the last step, she bursts through the door. In that same moment, her world shatters.
Within the past 2 weeks I've been rejected from 3 schools. They were the last schools I was waiting to hear from and one of them was my top choice. While I knew it was a long shot, I had my hopes and heart set high. So even though I knew a rejection was coming, it still stung.
What stung more was that my friend was accepted with the same grades, similar SAT scores (1930s) and everything.
When I found out I cried. A lot.
I spent hours thinking about what was wrong with me and of all the things I could have done differently. Like how I should have written my college essay about my humble roots like the one a lady from Rome helped me draft on my flight to Italy over the summer. Yet, I realize now that it wouldn't have mattered. I'm not the person they were looking for.
In fact, my boyfriend helped me realize that it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I know that if I had gotten in, I would have been pressured to go; I would have been in the same position my friend is now. While it would have been amazing, I know deep down inside that I'm not ivy league material.
Growing up my mother always told me that everything happened for a reason. I never really believed her until this past year. (But, that's for another post). The point is, that recently I've become a strong believer in fate and my faith.
Recently we had a class discussion on fate and the choices we make. Many of my peers believed that we define our future, it doesn't define us. But what if, just maybe, the universe follows rules from both?
What if the choices we make define new paths? Or what if, no matter what choice we make, we always end up where we are meant to be?
I think, that no matter what, each of us has a plan. We can formulate it ourselves or have the universe make one for us.
Related to this topic, recently my AP Lit teacher, who happens to be my advisor and person I look up to the most, sent me a link to a beautifully written article pertaining to the emotions that were running through my body.
If you would like to read the article, click below.
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/04/01/opinion/bruni-our-crazy-college-crossroads.html?emc=eta1&_r=0&referrer=
In the article, it said that it doesn't matter where we go to school; what matters is the way we choose to live our lives afterwards. It also discussed the criteria and stats surrounding those attending ivy league universities, stating that the reason why their alumni make so much was because most already have an established network due to their families.
Yet, what I took away most from the article, was that a decision from any university does not define us. We define ourselves.
This is a lesson I wish to take with me into college and beyond. It's one, I feel, that no one should forget in both times of hardship and happiness.
It's a lesson that I've learned a little bit to late in life.
This past week I have also talked to my peers about their future plans. Surprisingly, many did not get accepted into their first choice or any school they wanted to attend at all. In fact, some have still received no acceptances. Yet for some reason, they still chose to see the glass have full, rather than empty.
For that I envy them. However, it's that envy and my boyfriend whom eventually helped me open my eyes.
With this in mind, I realize that I am perfectly content, even happy that I didn't get accepted to those 3 schools. In fact, there are plenty of other universities that have accepted me and given generous scholarships. For that, I am truly grateful.
I realize now that any 3 of those schools would have been too competitive and not worth the money.
To me, it'd be much harder to graduate from an Ivy with honors and balance a social life, than it would be at any other respectable institution.
At this point in my life I realize that life is short and it should be spent having fun. For me, that means helping others. All of the time studying, to even pass a class, would have taken too much time away from my volunteer work and the people whom I feel need me most.
At the end of the day, it's what I accomplish in my life, not only for me, but others, that defines me.
Not the name of some fancy school.
With this in mind, I am genuinely happy for my friend and wish her the best of luck. She's been through a lot and deserves that acceptance.
However, I'm also worried that she might be picking a school for the wrong reasons. I sincerely hope that she carefully considers all her paths and honestly reflects on herself as a person. At the end of the day, all that matters is where she feels she will succeed and feel comfortable.
As for me, still don't know where I want to go, but I realize that it's okay. No matter where I go, I know that I'm going to be just fine, happy and hopefully, stress-free.
For now, I'm just going to keep pushing forward with a genuine smile on my face, to see where my path will take me.
Where will your path take you?
