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| My 5th birthday. |
Close your eyes and imagine
this: It’s a Saturday afternoon and the
gleeful squeals of children can be heard in the distance. One by one, they run past you, each wearing a
hat colored either red, blue, yellow or a combination of the three. Not wanting to be left out, you join them,
squealing just as loud. As you round
your third lap, someone hands you a balloon and you enter a state of utter
bliss, only to be extracted from your happiness by the distant calling of cake.
The above described, is a reminiscence
of a simpler time; a time where it didn’t matter where we came from, who our
parents were, how much money they made or who was dating who- everyone was
friends just the same. In a way, it’s a perfect
model for the no child left behind concept; no child was ever not invited to a party
and no birthday was ever forgotten.
As I grow older, this endless
pool of friends has gradually gotten smaller; it all begins with a birthday
forgotten here and a party invite that’s supposedly been lost. Although it hurt at first, I soon learned
that it was a natural part of life; friends grow apart, things happen. Yet, as I approach June I realize that maybe
not all my friendships will last; a trialing thought that as each day passes engulfs
me since I’ve never been one to make friends easily.
Throughout my life, my approach to friendship was that a few strong
friendships outweighed a hundred acquaintances.
In a way, that has caused me to treat my friends like family, even
though to some of them, I’m just another friend in the pool of people waiting
to become close to them; I’m easily replaceable.
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| Me with my best friend since birth. |
For my entire time in middle school and high school, not one of my
friends has decorated my locker, made me cupcakes or cookies, or thrown me a
surprise birthday party. (Even though, fro every year since sixth grade, I've done one, if not all of the above for each of them) Sure, my birthday
is in the summer, but never once has anyone ever recommended to celebrate it
sooner or come to me asking what plans I had for my birthday; it was always
left up to me to organize my own birthday lunch or event.
This past year, my friends have texted me a happy birthday, but not one
of them made plans with me or gave me a gift.
Truth be told, I could care less about the gift, yet it bothers me how
now as their birthdays role around, they expect one from me, even listing out
the things they want. With this in my
mind, I feel as if birthdays are no longer a celebration of a person or
friendship, its just an opportunity for people to get gifts from people whom
they never look at any other time in the year, regardless of their friendship. To me, these are not real friends, yet for
some reason, they hold that title in my heart. (Are
there any people you’ve still considered friends that didn’t deserve the title?)
I've reflected on this issue a lot lately and while on tumbler today, I came
across this poem:
For my birthdaysFor some reason, the poem really stuck with me; it helped me realized that even though birthdays come and go, both the joyous and lonesome ones, sometimes the people who attend them can make the event joyous. Finding that person or group of people is going to be my goal from now until June and even in college; I don't want to be some person's afterthought anymore, I and everyone in the same situation as me, deserve better.
I had cake
And candles
Parties, and sandals
So many, many
things,
None to to make me smile
But this time,
Someone held my hand
And took me on an adventure
Told me “don’t be scared,
We’re in this together”
And I didn’t feel alone
And it was the best gift
I’ve ever gotten.
Do you have that special friend or group of friends that made everything seem better? If not, I challenge you to join me in the attempt find that person.
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| My dog Lola on her 1st birthday. |
